Nu Rave Brain Wave

This morning, I was browsing blogs, you know, as you do at 10:23 on a school day when you have fuck all to do. And I saw a couple of newsworthy stories that just basically made me want to kill myself. Let me allow you to share these destructive feelings, and I really hope you do, ‘cuz this shits FUCKING RIDICULOUS:

1. Pitchfork Headline: VAMPIRE WEEKEND TO TOUR WITH BEACH HOUSE, DUM DUM GIRLS. I really wish I was more clever and could come up with hilarious slogans to characterize the boringness of this tour. How about Blah Blah Blasé Tour feat VW, BH and DDG? But god, seriously, does shit like this have to happen? Next thing I know it’s going to be like Kings of Leon with King Khan and the Shrines and Strange Boys except that it would somehow be infinitely better.
2. NME Headline: COLDPLAY FOR GLASTONBURY 2011 SET? It’s like the world is publicly saying that Glastonbury is over and has been over for years. Personally, I like to let the British hold on to their ‘festival experience’ of shitting in trashbags, washing their hair with ginger ale, and just fuckin’ letting loose, man, but I like to consider this news the world letting us know that SXSW is the one right and true festival. I mean, U2 headlining this year, and Coldplay next year? Sign me up for a bullet to the (just washed in beer) head.
3. NME Headline: TOM JONES COVERS BOB DYLAN ON NEW ALBUM. First of all…. what is the NME doing reporting about Tom Jones? Isn’t their readership something like kids between the ages of 15-18 whose brains have been adled by too much glowstick use? So what the fuck do they care about Tom Jones’ new album? Nobody does, really, except maybe the bosses who run Las Vegas, I mean they have to lure the elderly from Florida somehow, right? Anyway, the fact that TJ is covering the one and only true genuis Bob Dylan is enough to make me ill. Thank god he does not choose a classic (god forbid I say that but really) in ‘What Good Am I’. This kind of fuckery is enough to make me spit up on my keyboard.

That’s pretty much it in the world of WHAT THE FUCK, MUSIC? Come back another time when I’ve woken up agitated and want to have a go at things.

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“Norway” is the first single from their forthcoming album “Teen Dream”. It’s pretty good, check it out.